You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
