I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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