someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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