Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You pole danced in your parka.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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