Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
