Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
