There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
