Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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