It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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