So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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