Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
please don't ironically join a cult
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