No awkward lesbian experiences without me
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
