her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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