please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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