Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
