I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I think people are normalizing furries
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
