New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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