Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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