He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Randomize
