is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
