Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
