I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
