my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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