Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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