I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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