I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
