sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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