epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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