Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Sober January is a disaster.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
