It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
