remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
