i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
