How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You're like the curious george of whores
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
