According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
