I hate all girls vehemently.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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