Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
