When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
