just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
