There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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