people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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