trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I love having hate sex.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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