she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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