Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
