In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
