did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
