It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
