its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
