something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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