No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
