if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Randomize
