There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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