Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just want to make out with him forever
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize
