You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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