if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
